Thursday, March 3, 2011

Tough Question and a Fun Decision

Tonight, I am attending the first in a series of classes to learn Italian. I have said for years that I want to learn Italian. I figured that 3 months in Italy would be a waste if I did not take advantage of this while I am here. There will be more about this soon, I suspect.

So back the tough question.

What happens at the moment you die?

The question is part of Fr. John Fuellenbach's discussion about the kingdom of God and the "God-Image" that we need to develop in our reflections on the Gospels.

Most concepts of heaven and hell are based on the the Old Testament vision of the wrathful, vengeful, punishing God. Or they are based on the "repent so you can receive the kingdom" message of John the Baptist. Or they are based on the legalistic "follow the rules and regulations of the church" teaching that we have all been subjected to for centuries.

We must start to rethink our relationship with God, rethink the kingdom language, so that we come to experience God's love for ME. Fr. John never says, for US, always for ME. God's immense love is a personal love for every individual person who was, who is, and who will be. Individual persons responding to this immense, unconditional love of God are the church in the world.

There are only three things that bring us into the presence of God: Thanksgiving, Adoration, and Praise.

When I die:
  • All pretense falls away. I come to the absolute knowledge of who I am and that I am infinitely loved. I am filled with all the awe of the eternal, merciful, compassionate God.
  • I will see and come to understand that it was God's love which gave me life, which bore me every moment of my life, which invited me to be faithful. The question that I must now consider standing face to face with this infinite, unconditional love is "How did I respond to this infinite, unconditional love?"
  • I will stand before this infinitely compassionate God and I will know that I had at every moment of my life, the possibility of ultimate joy. What did I do with this?
  • And so, ultimately, it is not God who judges. Now that I have this infinite knowledge, it is I who judge myself. God does not judge.
  • When Peter denies Jesus three times, he already has the knowledge of Jesus' love and Jesus warns Peter that this denial will take place. Peter is adamant that he will never do this. At the cock crow, Jesus simply turns to look at Peter and does not need to say a word. Peter knows in his heart what he has done, Peter judges himself. And he goes out and weeps bitterly, the scripture says.
  • However, the effects of my sin remain. I still have in my heart the knowledge that I have sinned and rejected this ultimate and infinite love. The time that is needed to purge that knowledge before I fully accept myself as uncondintionally loved by God is what the church calls purgatory.
Fr. John ended with a statement that kind of blew us all away.
God's love triumphs over justice.
Justice, which requires judgment decisions on the part of God is not how God ultimately wants to deal with us. God wants to delight in his people. God wants to love us unconditionally. God, through Jesus offers us the example of defenseless love as a sign of divine providence.
God's love triumphs over justice.
It is not about peace imposed by anyone, but rather an unconditional love which allows one to accept another as he or she is. This is how God loves. This is how we are called to love.

Powerful day! This will require a great deal of meditation and contemplation: con = with; templum = temple. From the temple - to think as God thinks. To know as God knows. To love as God loves. To attempt to understand the world from God's point of view, from His mind and heart. That is the mark of holiness. That is the mark of sainthood.

Tomorrow morning is the last sessison with Fr. John Fuellenbach. I bought a second book of his entitled, "Proclaiming the Kingdom" It is a collection of stories and anecdotes he has collected over the years. In this book, he connects them to the scripture passages of the lectionary. It will be a very helpful little volume I think. After class and Mass in the morning, the afternoon and evening is free. I will have to look over lists of destinations in the city of Rome for the afternoon and evening.

On to lighter things.

I went to my first Italian language school class tonight. I have decided to commit three evenings a week to the study of Italian. By the time I leave, I will have attended 18 classes.  I am attending the Dante Allighieri School of languages. Francesca, a young woman in her early 20s is our teacher. The other students are Fr. Joe Porpiglia, who is here with me at the Institute; Roy, a young Israeli with a Spanish wife living in Italy; Beata, a young English-speaking woman living here in Rome; Manuel, a recent college graduate from Argentina who is spending three months in Italy as a graduation gift from his parents; and Los, a Nigerian man who works for his Embassy in Italy. I am actually beginning two weeks into the class, but I did surprisingly well relying on my fluency in French and a basic knowledge of Latin. These classes will be held on Mondays (Everything else in Italy is closed on Mondays), Tuesdays, and Thursdays. That means that Fr. Joe and I will have to miss supper (cena) at the seminary. (Actually supper meals here may be the worse meals available in Rome). We will just have to suffer the burdensome decision about which Trattoria, or Pizzeria, or Ristorante to stop in after class - to practice Italian of course.


Buona notte a tutti.